Monday Musings: Thoughts on Being Too Nice

Hello Beautiful Ones!

Welcome to the new year! Have any of those resolutions bombed yet? I definitely haven't been to the gym like I said I was going to, but we're all just a work in progress right?! It's been a while since I've written a Monday Musings post, so prepare to explore the inside of my brain! We're talking word vomit at its finest. Today I want to talk about being 'too nice.'

I've been told on a few different occasions that I'm just 'too nice.' Being nice is a good thing right? So why then does it always feel like when someone tells me I am 'too nice' they don't mean it as a compliment? Of course you can have too much of anything. It is a very fine line between being nice and being a pushover, but I still think that you can accomplish the things you want to by being nice. I guess that's just the incurable optimist inside me.

I currently have a job where I have to tell people no. Every single day I have to turn people down. Sure, I have guidelines with things I need to cover when I tell them no, but at the end of the day the delivery is all mine. I do my best to cover all the information while still being compassionate. There is no real way to disguise rejection. It will always hurt no matter what, but having someone kindly break it to you can also have a big impact.

Along with being nice, I'm also someone who hates confrontation. For me, these two things go hand and hand. I've found that the nicer I am, the less likely people are to pick fights with me. This is usually where my friends and family chime in and tell me I'm 'too nice.' Because I try so hard to avoid confrontation that sometimes I don't stand up for myself when I feel that I've been wronged, I just smile and say that it's okay when it isn't. In those cases my loved ones are right, I should be voicing my opinion if I feel I'm being mistreated. But with that being said I still don't think that there is such a thing as being 'too nice.'

There is no situation that couldn't use a little more kindness, just don't let yourself lose your voice. We'll kill 'em with kindness and take over the world together.

XO- Brittney

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Monday Musings: The Power in Being an Introvert

Hello Beautiful Ones!

What do you think of when you hear the word introvert? I'm going to pretend to read your mind (that would be pretty impressive), and assume that you consider being an introvert a negative thing. I identify as an introvert, and I'm here to tell you why that is not necessarily a bad thing.

I'm going to start this post by saying that I'm 23, and I'm certainly not really an expert on anything at this point. But with that being said, I've always been an introvert. It's who I am, and I can remember so many instances in my 23 years of life when I tried to change that or wished I wasn't. The thing is that at the end of the day, you are who you are. Sure we can change and grow. That's normal and that's great. But there is also something to be said about how powerful it can be to embrace who you truly are.

I didn't really start figuring that out until I went away to college. If you asked one of my high school classmates about me I'm guessing they would say "she was nice, but really quiet." In my mind college was going to be awesome because I was going to a new place to meet new people with the opportunity to completely reinvent myself. The thing was though that I could change my scenery but at the end of the day I was still the same person.

Try as I might to be outgoing, it's just not who I am. But with that being said, it doesn't mean that I'm not friendly or don't enjoy a great conversion because I totally do. I think that when a lot of us think about introverts we think about a kid in their basement glued to their computer because they don't like human interaction. Sure, that would be a severe form of introvertism (is that even a word?), but it's not the only form that an introvert can take.

For me, being an introvert means that I might not be the one who initiates a conversation. It doesn't mean I don't want to talk to you it just means I might not feel comfortable walking up to you to start a chat. Also on that note I sometimes struggle speaking up in large group conversations (especially if I don't know the group very well), but that doesn't mean I don't have something to say I just prefer to say it in a smaller group or one-on-one. And finally being an introvert does NOT mean I don't like going out, it just means that I also value my alone time. On a Friday night I like to unwind by myself with a glass of wine and my Netflix, and by Saturday I'm ready to go out and do something fun with my friends.

Being an introvert doesn't mean you're broken, it just means you think and act differently from your outgoing counterparts. My main point here is that it doesn't really matter if you identify as an introvert or not, it just matters that you figure out what works best for you. I know that I like listening more than I like talking some days. One of my best friends just needs someone to listen to him, we're a perfect match. Yet another good friend of mine is also an introvert, and we can sit in happy silence with each other for hours. My point is that you don't need to change yourself to connect with other people, you just need to know who you are so that you can surround yourself with people who get it.

I have more to say about this, but I think I'm going to leave it at that for today. Maybe I'll come back to this topic some day. All I want for all of you is that you are happy (cheesy but true).

Just remember to be yourself and I promise you will sparkle. x

XO- Brittney

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Monday Musings: The Art of Embracing Change

Hello Beautiful Ones!

Happy Monday! The weekend always ends WAY too fast, where does it even go? So here we are at the start of a new week. It's been a while since I have done a Monday musings and there have been a lot of changes happening in my life lately, so that is the theme of the day: change. As always, prepare to experience the inside of my mind (buckle up kids!).

Ok, now on to the serious stuff: change. Change is literally inevitable. Without change we would all just be doing the same exact things day in and day out. That sounds terrible. So why then is change so scary? I think it's super easy to get caught in your comfort zone. Lord knows that happens to me more often than I would like to admit. But as I said, change is bound to happen. So I've decided that when change does happen (regardless of good or bad) the best thing you can do is just embrace it!

I mentioned at the beginning of this post that I've been going through a lot of personal changes lately. You may have read on this blog previously that I recently graduated from college and then moved back in with my parents to job hunt. Well, I can officially announce that I am now an adult with a big girl job and rent to pay (bills make me wish I wasn't quite so grown-up).

Although theses changes were ones that I had been looking forward to, I still found them a little daunting when it actually came time to make the changes. First of all, the idea of my first full-time job was intimidating. I found myself thinking things like: "what if I can't handle it, or what if I hate it?" Luckily for me it turned out that those worries were completely unwarranted. After a week on the job I'm already in love with it and my co-workers.

Another change that had me nervous, was that my new job was also in a new city. Not only was I leasing an apartment for the first time, but I was also trying to adjust to a new place without my friends and family close by. I'm still getting used to this one. I'm learning to enjoy my alone time. That's another thing about change though: sometimes adjusting to change will take a little time.

I'm not going to pretend to have the art of embracing change down to a science, but I'm trying. That's all you can really ask of yourself.

To leave you with a little extra inspiration, here are some quotes on change that I love:

“The present changes the past. Looking back you do not find what you left behind.” 

-Kiran Desai, The Inheritance of Loss

“Things change. And friends leave. Life doesn't stop for anybody.” 

-Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of Being a Wallflower

“The world as we have created it is a process of our thinking. It cannot be changed without changing our thinking.” 

-Albert Einstein

I hope you all have some very sparkly changes waiting for you in the near future. Whatever it is, just remember to do your best to embrace it.

XO- Brittney

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Monday Musings: Dealing with Failure

Hello Beautiful Ones!

Here we are again.. another Monday and another post for me to spill out the insides of my mind (brace yourselves). Lately I've found myself thinking a lot about failure. As some of you might know I recently graduated from college and have found myself living at home with my parents while looking for a full-time job. During the course of my job hunting I've faced a lot of "we're going to pursue other candidates," or "your qualifications do not match up with our open positions at this time." Everytime I read or hear one of those phrases from potential employers I can't help but feel like I have failed.

Failure feels like such a harsh and scary word. When I think of failure I think of the end. Like failure is the final stop in the road to get where you're going. It's so easy to think, "well now that I've failed I'll have to quit or try something new." Failure and rejection are extremely difficult to face.

I know from first hand experience how painful facing failure can be. I'm not just talking about my recent adventures into the jungle that is job hunting. This past year while I was still a senior in college I made the decision to apply to grad school. I applied in December to four different schools and by May I was the proud owner of four different rejection letters. I was crushed, not only did I have my heart set on going to grad school but I was left with absolutely no idea what was next for me. I can vividly remember crying my eyes out in the shower. I've wavered on whether or not I should re-apply.

But the problem is that if we quit we allow failure to dictate our lives. If we give up we don't get to continue our stories, we don't get to see if there is a happy ending in the subsequent pages. As we have all heard a thousand times you often don't get to enjoy success without experiencing failure first.

I've decided that I'm not giving up and I'm not going to allow failure to control the choices I make in my life; I'm going  to use my failures as learning tools that will help me get exactly where I want to go. I'll leave you with a famous quote on failure by Winston Churchill that has kept me going these last few months "success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts."

Please don't give up beautiful ones.

XO- Brittney

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Monday Musings: Does Everyone Have Better Eyebrows Than Me?

Hello Beautiful Ones!

Happy Monday! The weather here is lovely and it has me in a little bit of an oddly calm mood. So I thought I'd tackle a topic that I've had floating around in my head for a while and do a quick (I'll try to make it quick I swear) Monday musings. Prepare to experience the inside of my brain.

I'm fairly confident in saying that all of us have those things about ourselves (physical or not) that we would like to change. For me one of those things are my eyebrows. I know, I know... there are much more serious issues in this world for me to be worrying about, but it's just one of those things that plagues me.

I always say that I was blessed with long eyelashes and in return cursed with thick eyebrows. My eyebrows have always been extremely thick (just like my hair) and very dark. Having dark eyebrows means that any stray hairs stick out like a sore thumb. I find myself looking in the mirror and obsessively staring at my eyebrows.

But that's not really the bad habit I want to discuss. For me the most destructive part of this whole thing is when I look at pictures, magazines, and T.V. actresses and compare their eyebrows to mine. There's always someone with a better arch, or a perfect brow shape. And all of these comparisons make me want to make my own brows look that way.

The problem is that my brows are completely different from the next girl's so when I try to force my eyebrows into a mold they don't want to fit into it turns into a giant disaster. It's taken me some time, but I've finally learned that it works so much better if I go along with my brow's natural shape instead of making them do something they don't want to do.

At the end of the day I don't really want this post to be about eyebrows. I want it to be about realizing that the best way to find beauty is not to change the things you don't like about yourself, but rather embrace them instead. That's what I ultimately want you to get out of this blog: ways to make your outsides match your beautiful insides. Sorry for getting really mushy, but for me that's why I love makeup because it makes me happy and allows me to express my personality the same way that a great dress or a killer pair of shoes does. Makeup isn't what truly makes you beautiful, but it can help you express who you are.

I'm still finding peace with my eyebrows. Just remember to smile and you'll always sparkle!

Hopefully you were able to follow this rambly mess and I didn't scare you all off! :)

XO- Brittney

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Monday Musings: The Art of Asking for Help

Hello Beautiful Ones!

It's Monday once again (oh weekends, why must you go so quickly?). As you might know I'm still trying to figure out exactly what this blog is going to be. So I thought I would try something a little different. Today I'm going to take a break from the sparkles to share some things that have been on my mind lately (this is basically going to be a mini therapy session for me, I'm going to owe all of you a lot of money for your time).

As a recent college graduate I've found myself back at home living with my parents and working part-time until I can find a more permanent position. Some days I feel like I'm stuck in the plot of a cheesy sit-com. But as I've been engaging in the tortuous process of job hunting these last few months I've had to learn a very important lesson: how to ask for help.

I know what you're probably thinking: "ummm how hard is asking for help, didn't we all learn that as toddlers?" Well you're right, we've been taught at a very young age that you should ask for help if you need it. But if my last four years of college have taught me anything about myself it's that I value being self-sufficient very much. I get great satisfaction out of being able to solve my own problems and taking care of my own needs. Don't get me wrong, being an independent woman is a great asset. However, sometimes you just need to ask for help.

Before we all go too crazy let's start with baby steps (maybe I'm the only one hyperventilating right now). You can start out by simply accepting help. I know, what a concept! As I've been job hunting I've had friends and acquaintances alike offering to reach out to their contacts to see if they can help me find a job. I've found this a little overwhelming. I mean, as someone who prides herself on solving her own problems it's pretty humbling to have someone say "I think you're a good person so I'm going to use a little of my time and resources to help you out." Whoa. This whole process has reminded me that there are so many good people out there in this world and I'm so grateful for that.

Now on to the actual art of asking for help. My advice is to take it one step at a time. Maybe just tell someone you trust whatever your predicament is and see if they have any advice for you. It's ok if you're not up to outright asking for help. I've been working on this step myself. And to be honest with you the first one was the hardest, but it's gotten easier.

I'm still job hunting and working on the art of asking for help. It's stressful but I'm trying to just take it one day at a time. Maybe this helped you or maybe you just got a scary glimpse of the inner workings of my mind. The bottom line is: when you truly need help the important people in your life are going to be there for you when you ask for their help. Thanks for indulging my ramblings, and don't worry the sparkles will resume soon!

XO- Brittney

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